


There is a Room

by stoven (orphan_account)



Series: 15Kisses [Scorpio] - Stucky [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cuddling & Snuggling, Forehead Kisses, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 13:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16724628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/stoven
Summary: All Bucky can do is breathe, he’s safe, he’s so safe here in this room, with Steve.





	There is a Room

**Author's Note:**

> written for the prompt 'closeness' for 15kisses on dreamwidth

There is a room, where the lights are dim and he is the focus of attention. There are a lot of voices, garbled, the sounds of someone talking under water. He knows that something is wrong, he shouldn’t be listening to them, but he walks when they tell him to walk, he runs when they tell him to run. He kills when they tell him to kill. 

He bites down on the mouth guard and they electrocute him, his brain is fried and that’s why he keeps doing what they say. 

Before that,

He is cold, unfathomably cold. It comes and goes between his consciousness but he has no concept of how much time is actually passing beyond mission parameters. Every time, he walks into the chamber although he is already shaking knowing what will happen. The door shuts on him, and he freezes to death, every single time. 

Before that,

There is table, and an empty space next to his body where his arm should be. They attach a machine to his shoulder, a weapon. It hurts so much, just existing with this thing on him, he doesn’t remember ever being in so much pain in his life. 

Before that,

He is face down in the snow and bleeding from somewhere. 

Before that, 

He is falling, falling, falling— 

Bucky wakes suddenly, violently, his throat is hoarse from screaming. The sheets beneath him are drenched in sweat, his breathing is ragged and he tries to calm down but his heart is racing and there’s no _air_. 

It takes him a few minutes to stop hyperventilating, and a few minutes more to realize Steve Rogers is standing in the doorway. 

That’s right. He’s at Steve’s apartment. He’s in Steve’s bed, or rather, his guest bed. He’s been here for six months now. 

The nightmare still feels real (it was real before he came to live with Steve). 

“Can I come in?” Steve asks from the doorway. “You know where you are?” Always when he wakes up screaming, Steve is wary of him. Bucky keeps his head down, he can’t look at the light just yet. 

“Brooklyn, 2015. My name is James Buchanan Barnes.” 

Steve likes to hear that he knows his own name, so Bucky doesn’t mind reassuring him. Steve comes further into the room, sits down on the bed near Bucky’s legs. 

“Is it alright to touch you?” He asks.

“Yeah.” 

Steve does, touches his arm— the right one. “Let’s go take a shower, huh? I’ll change out the sheets.”

“Okay.” Bucky agrees. The sweat makes him shiver now that he’s awake. He’s faintly aware that his body is shaking but a hot shower will surely fix it. He lets Steve lead him into the bathroom, and he starts up the shower while Steve sets a towel on the sink for him. The door is left slightly ajar for the steam to escape, and he can hear Steve shuffling things around. 

The hot water feels good, wakes him up, brings him out of his head. Getting further and further away from his nightmare. When he gets out, he dries off and changes into sweatpants, no top. 

He hesitates at the doorway, looking at the bedroom, mostly dark with the kitchen light spilling in. The sheets are changed, so he lays down, on top of the covers, since he’s not sure if he can fall back asleep. 

It’s dark again in the apartment when the kitchen light shuts off, and Steve comes back into the room with a glass of water which he sets on the nightstand next to the bed. He sits down again, closer to Bucky’s side this time. It’s nice to have Steve so close. It’s quiet for a long time, the only movement is Steve shifting, getting closer and closer to being horizontal. 

“You can lie down.” Bucky says, shifting over a little, if Steve needs more room. The thought of Steve staying in the room with him makes him feel more comfortable. “If you want.” He continues, when Steve doesn’t respond. Bucky can see the lines of tension in his body, the tired slope of his posture. Exhaustion in every small shift. 

Steve sighs out what sounds like all of the breath in his body. “Alright,” He says as he stretches out beside Bucky. His eyes are closed, but he stays awake. “Do you want to talk about it?” He offers.

Bucky has a vague memory of lying side by side with Steve on the floor, cushions and pillows spread about them. Talking used to be so easy, before. 

“It was just—“ Bucky’s throat closes around the words, “I was falling.” He says finally. 

The thought hits him so suddenly; he wants Steve to hold him. He wants to feel safe. He hasn’t felt that in a long, long time. But Steve hates it when he mentions the train, or any of that stuff. 

“You’re here now, you’re safe.” Steve says, which is a change from his usual apologies, and guilt. 

Maybe if he just, reaches out, carefully, pulls Steve in, Steve will get the picture. His fingers brush Steve’s arm, and he almost pulls back when Steve jolts, but hesitates. Steve’s fingers gently touch his wrist, curl around his fingers. 

“Buck.” 

Steve’s voice comes out near a whisper, quiet except for the soft brush of their clothes as they gravitate towards each other. Bucky almost tears up at the feeling of Steve’s arms wrapping softly around him. Bucky is higher up on the bed, and he wraps his own arms around Steve’s shoulders while Steve’s go around his middle. All Bucky can do is breathe, he’s safe, he’s so safe here in this room, with Steve. 

Impulsively, he presses his lips to Steve’s hairline in a kiss, keeps his mouth pressed there.

“Bucky,”

“Yeah, Steve?”

“I— you… um.” Steve says eloquently.

“Thank you for keeping me safe, Steve.” Bucky says. It’s quiet for a long time after that. So long that Bucky thinks maybe he’ll fall asleep, or that Steve is asleep. But finally Steve holds him just a little tighter, turns his face into Bucky’s chest, their legs pressed up together. Just holding each other in the dark.

“Always, Buck. Always.”


End file.
